The “Marriage of Your Dreams”

Scott and Cindy

Are you the kind of person who sets goals at the start of the New Year?   Because, if you are, I’ve got one for you to think about. 

But first, some statistics from the Romance Writers of America webpage:   Did you know that romance novels in America did a whopping $ 1.356 Billion in business in 2010?  Essentially, this means that enough romance novels were sold in 2010 to put one in the hands of every American!  Romance novels had the highest share of the market, selling more books than science fiction, mystery, or religion.  

Certainly, the desire for a hot and sizzling romance is NOT dead in America!

Which brings me to my thought for a marriage goal for 2012.  Why not endeavor, with the help of your spouse, to create the “Marriage of Your Dreams”.  Or, to put it in a way that I use in my life coaching sessions ~ why not endeavor to become the husband or wife of your spouse’s dreams? 

Think about that for a second.  What would your marriage look like if it became the “Marriage of Your Dreams”?   What would need to change to really take your marriage to another level?  

I am constantly amazed at how relatively simple changes can make profound changes in a marriage.  I recently was counseling a couple who was having difficulty being physically intimate.  We worked through a few issues in one session and determined that, with a few minor changes, both of their desires could be met.  Interestingly, this happened after one of the spouses indicated that “nothing will work because the problem is too difficult”.   Faulty thinking will trip people up every time !

Don’t let faulty thinking trip you up.  The fact is that God wants you to have a dynamically passionate relationship.   John 10:10 says that Jesus came to give us an abundantly overflowing life (certainly, a passionate marriage is an integral part of what an overflowing life looks like).  Furthermore, the Old Testament Song of Songs is packed with enough passion to make most romance novels appear lacking.  Certainly, if God did not intend for our marriages to contain “romance novel characteristics”, He would never have written the Song of Songs.  And, don’t forget that, theologically, your passionate Christian marriage is a reflection of God’s love for us and a Christian witness to the world.  So, it is my firm belief that God is in your corner wanting you to have the marriage of your dreams because it expands His Kingdom!.

So, how about it?  Will you add “the Marriage of Your Dreams” to your goal list for 2012? 

If so, as you begin 2012, let me encourage you to think about asking your spouse what it would take for you to be the man/woman of their dreams.  I know from personal experience that this is a little intimidating (I’ve done it numerous times over the past 10 years).  But, it’s really not so bad.  And, once you have the list from your spouse (see a previous blog about how to go about asking), remember that just a few changes on your part can produce dynamic results in your marriage.  And, your attempts will inspire your spouse to take their own steps to be the man/woman of your dreams!  Now, that sounds like a romance novel waiting to be written!

And, as we proceed through 2012, I will endeavor to help you get there (just keep reading my blogs).  My desire is that you won’t need to be buying romance novels because you’ll be living one in your own marriage!   

And, as we begin 2012 (and as we prepare for more blogs on specific steps you can take to realize “The Marriage of Your Dreams”), I’d love to hear more of what you think about this idea and others.   Practical?   Too idealistic?   Dreamer?   Scary?   In need of specifics?    And, what are your own practical needs and questions as you attempt to move in that direction?  It’s simple to share ~ just hit the “leave a comment” button on my blog site and type away.

As we begin this New Year, Cindy and I extend our warmest wishes for a healthy and passionate 2012!

(Below, if you are on Scott’s BLOG SITE, you can rate this blog, share this blog on your Facebook,  e-mail this blog to your spouse or one of your friends, select “like”, leave a public comment [look for the small print below, “Leave a comment“], or e-mail me privately at  You can also see our website at www.MarriageMechanic.ORG or sign up to receive this blog on the upper right hand corner of this page).

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